OK, there's no doubt that we adore love stories between our favorite fictional characters: Noah & Allie, Lois Lane & Clark Kent, Elizabeth Bennet & Mr. Darcy. But those characters don't always have the most relatable love stories. Sure, they had their own issues (mothers stealing love letters, villains, and social etiquette challenges). However, they weren't dealing with DM sliding, app dating, orbiting, and so many of the other things that come with dating in 2021. This is where hours spent scrolling through TikTok become very useful!
If you look at the #DatingAdvice on TikTok, you'll see more than 3.2 billion views. Who knows by the time you're reading this, it could be double or even triple. I spent some time (cough cough, more hours than I'd like to admit) scrolling TikTok to find practical and helpful pieces of dating advice. Below you'll see words of wisdom from therapists, love coaches, rockstars, and relatable people with relationship wisdom.
While you're here, if you have a piece of advice or have heard helpful advice about dating, drop it in the comments.👇 Let's help each other out!
12 Pieces of Dating & Relationship Advice on TikTok
1. "If he wanted to, he would." Not necessarily...
@Binchcity makes a very good point that the statement "if he wanted to, he would" often oversimplifies the dating experience. She says it's not only "unnecessarily mean" - but it also isn't always true. I love this because there's no "one size fits all" answer that applies to every dating situation - or any situation for that matter.
2. Have a first date coming up? These 3 tips are simple but underrated.
Repeat: ask questions! Better yet, ask open ended questions. We can all probably agree that it's not a great feeling when the person we're interacting with doesn't show interest in what we're saying. Asking questions is one of the easiest ways to show you're curious and wanting to connect on a deeper level.
3. How to slide into those DMS.
I'll admit: I have a few friends in relationships who started their conversation with a "heyy" or even wave emoji in a DM. But @thelovedrive's advice to ask them to do something will make it that much easier to transition the communication from phone to real world. As he says, "what do you have to lose?" Just remember to be safe and meet in a place you feel comfortable in!
4. Moving on after being ghosted. (Easier said than done!)
Getting ghosted is a bad, bad feeling. While I don't know anyone who hasn't been ghosted (aside from friends who married their high school sweetheart), it doesn't make it any less irritating, disappointing, and all around confusing. But as the one and only Russell Brand says, remember that better things are coming. Letting go is very likely the best thing you can do for yourself.
5. Exes teach valuable lessons.
An ex relationship is a trove of life lessons. Does that make it easier when a relationship is ending? Absolutely not! But @caitlininspiresofficial gives a good reminder that when a relationship ends, a flood of fresh insights are headed your way.
6. "You're the one you've been waiting for."
Yes! As @Kaitybrodriguez says, fall in love with yourself. I know you probably see this a lot - but it's so true and worth repeating.
7. Coffee dates, walks, and short activities are good ways to feel each other out on a first date.
It was hard to pick just one piece of advice from Nick Viall. But this is one of my favorites. Sitting down for a meal with a stranger can be a pretty intimidating first date- not to mention a big time and money investment. A $4 coffee date? A lot easier! And his reminder that personal preferences are not the same as "non-negotiables" is a good thing to keep in mind - people can surprise you!
If you love hearing dating stories, we recommend giving his podcast The Viall Files a listen, particularly the Ask Nick episodes on Mondays.
8. Know the non-negotiable qualities you want (or don't want) in a partner.
@Thealexisgermany shares advice she got from her uncle about picking three non-negotiables - and not expecting anyone to have everything you want in a partner. Setting boundaries is incredibly important, but being realistic is too!
9. Understand your love language.
If you love to give gifts but your S.O. is a physical touch person - that's useful information! @Youtheceo puts it perfectly by reminding us that love languages are unique to each person. The way you tend to show love doesn't necessarily automatically align with the way your S.O. (or friend, family member, etc) seeks love. That's why it's important to listen, stay attuned to the people around us, and adjust.
Don't know your love language? Take this quiz.
10. Mutual investment is a must.
This goes for romantic relationships, friendships, family bonds. All of them require a give and take. As the saying goes - you cannot pour from an empty cup.
11. It's important to know your expectations.
For @Kayleeanneglover - two weeks is enough time for someone to make a move. For others it may be more or less, but knowing your expectations is extremely important (and articulating them is also important).
12. Prioritize your safety!
Take advantage of little hacks like the one from @SallyHeart.com to prioritize your safety. I also recommend letting someone know you're going on a date and where you're going, whether you tell a roommate, sibling, or parent.
*BONUS* If you don't feel appreciated - that's not ok.
Last but not least, @pattyandpatty give a pep talk that is worth shouting from the rooftops!